As very small children we view our parents as perfect, omnipotent and god/goddess like, He or She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed, and He or She-Who-Must-Be-Right. Our very lives depend upon the fail-safeness of those in charge of our safety and nurturance. The very thought that they are less than perfect is terrifying and life threatening.

This innate fear is so strong that the children will actually make themselves wrong and suffer fragmentation from their right to be correct in order to maintain this illusion and the feeling of safety. Rather than see the parent as anything other than totally reliable and safe, they will make the parents’ failings their fault, and then go about trying to fix themselves in order to be ok.

Any part of them that actually “gets it” that the parent is flawed in any way will be shoved into the recesses of denial.

Children growing up in continually abusive situations will actually form a split of sorts that we will call Day Child/Night Child. In this scenario, the denied knowing part will remain undercover until the abuse occurs again, then it comes on deck to deal. This is an example of the work of Night Child. Day Child is thereby protected from the knowledge of the failings of the parents, and on deck all other times.

This is why we often are unaware of harmful events in our lives. Once we leave the abusive situation, Night Child is left safely in the recesses of our denial. That is, until our damage causes the scenario to repeat (and it always does in some form or another). Then suspicious, paranoid, savvy Night Child will rear its ugly head, and we will find ourselves reacting out of proportion to the situation at hand.

This split, and we all have it to one degree or another, creates an interesting black or white approach to life. A person is either perceived as trustworthy in all situations or, if they break that blind trust of Day Child, they are viewed as never to be trusted by Night Child.

Because we are all damaged, blinded and untrustworthy in some areas, the above approach sets a person up to be re-injured again and again, or to become isolated in order to be “safe”.

This is why in shamanic healing we uncover our fragmented, denied parts, and reclaim them. Tied up in the Night Child is our ability to see the failings of others, and to deal with them. At the same time, this needs to be blended with the trust and understanding of Day Child in order to be balanced and non-damaging in our dealings with others. Also, shamanic healing corrects the polarity of our energetic field, and thus helps us stop pulling in the repeat performances of the original wounding. (more on that in a later writing)

When we have reunited our Night Child/Day Child, we then have the ability to see the unsafe, damaged parts of those around us and not be subject to them, without having to throw out the baby with the bath water. In this way, we can clearly see without condemning or judging against people, and once again accurately discern appropriate proximity to them at any given time. Depending on what is going on, we can choose what and with whom to share.

For instance, I once had a friend who was firmly locked down in his family’s views of what was and what was not possible in life. Whenever I would try and share my dreams or plans with him, I would get a long lecture on the “harsh realities of life”. After a while of this, I found my dreams dying and my ability to manifest them greatly diminished. I learned simply not to share that part of my life with him and immediately recovered my ability to manifest, regardless of the belief system of the masses.

When we have not healed our Day Child/Night Child split, our relationships are no more than a dance of children living in the past. In the above example, his Night Child came on deck to protect his belief systems and unknowingly, was energetically sabotaging my ability to manifest my dreams. At the same time, his Day Child was simply trying to protect his friend from failure and disappointment.

My Day Child read his Day Child’s intent, and was unaware of the damaging undercurrents of his Night Child, and therefore subject to them. When my Night Child got wind of what his Night Child was doing, it decided he was trying to destroy me and everything I created and was unsafe, to be cast out completely and avoided altogether. Neither was entirely true, of course.

How complex the weavings of human interaction, yet how simple they can become through shamanic healing. I look forward to the day when I can once again relate soul to soul, heart to heart, rather than pattern to pattern with all those I encounter on my life’s path.

In loving friendship,

Gwilda Wiyaka

 

Journey Questions are designed for individuals that have taken Path Home Shamanic Arts School's Lower or Upper world Journey Class.  These classes are designed to instruct a person on the successful access use and interpretation of the shamanic trance.

Given my bottom line,

1. Where in my life would it serve me to know that I have Day Child/Night Child working?
2. Ask to speak with Day Child and see what they have to say to you
3. Ask to speak with Night Child and see what they have to say to you
4. Ask if there is a way to integrate them in your life.